What I do Believe

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it is that I DO have a testimony of. In the LDS church once a month we have what is called Fast and Testimony Meeting. This takes place during our sacrament meeting time (what other religions might consider there sermon or worship time). Members are encouraged to stand and bare personal testimony of the church and/or its principles. Mostly people stand and tell personal experiences where they have had some type of spiritual prompting or enlightenment. I have even stood in front of congregations to tell of my own spiritual experiences and feelings. When I ponder the word and meaning of 'testimony' I feel that it should run deeper than experiences and feelings. According to wikipedia, in law and in religion, testimony is a solemn attestation as to the truth of a matter. If I think about what I KNOW in my heart to be truth I can come up with a few things that I would like to share with you.

I know that there is a God. I know this because I have felt his presence multiple times throughout my life. Through personal trial and tribulation I have come to know him on a more personal level. I know the power of prayer. I know that God hears and answers our prayers and again I have come to know this through personal experience. Those two things I do not doubt or question. There are also many things that I believe. While I might not know these things as strongly as know God and prayer, I believe that these things are true.

I believe that there is more to life that just our earthly journey. I believe in eternal progression because it makes sense to me. I like to believe that families are forever and that marriage and the family unit continue to be after our mortal journey. I believe in a savior Jesus Christ. I believe he is the son of God and that he was sent here to save mankind.

While I of course cannot prove these things I know exist, to me they are truth and I respect the fact that others might have different personal truths.

The principles, specific to the LDS church, that I struggle with are:

Was Joseph Smith a true prophet of God? I realize this is a pretty fundamental part of the Mormon church, but if I'm being honest with myself this is not something I know for certain.

Will those who do not except and become members of our church really not be allowed to progress in the heavens and have eternal families? To me this doesn't seem quite fair or right. I know that the church would argue that everyone will have a chance either in this life or the next to hear the gospel's message, but what if you were born say a devout Buddhist. Would you all of the sudden abandon everything you have believed to be right just to be part of another religion? I think what I would do if say a Jehovah's Witness came to my door and wanted me to change religions. Would I do it? And if I didn't would I be damned in my eternal progression?

Why are women not given the same authoritative powers like the priesthood that men are given? Maybe this is the feminist coming out in me. Why must the women be "second in command" so to speak? Why must we head to the counsel of our husbands who head to the counsel of God? Why can we not just head the counsel of God ourselves?

There are many more questions that I have that I don't have the energy to write or make clear of in my head that perhaps will come later on.